What to do when a guy/girl has an unhealthy hold over you!

There’s always going to be one person in your life that’ll have a hold over you. They’ll have the ability to get into your mind and under your skin and you’ll probably let them walk all over you.

This is how to recognise if someone has a hold over you and a few tips on the best way to move forward…

1) They’ll contact you when it suits them. They might suggest to meet up with you from time to time but it will always be last minute. There will be no consistency.  Those who have a hold over you will never make any real effort because they’re just out for themselves.  But the real reason they behave in this way is because they know they have a hold over you. To alleviate any game playing, do not respond to their texts, calls, emails as deep down you know they’re not the one for you.

2) They’ll play mind games. A person who has a hold over you will know how you work and they’ll know how to get your attention. They’ll allude to the fact that they like you but if they genuinely liked you, they wouldn’t play mind games. Save your mental thinking time for someone who actually really cares about you. If the guy/girl likes you, they won’t ever feel the need to wind you up!


3) They’ll linger! They will always be there in the background LINGERING and checking that you’re not with anyone else. Just to make sure they still have that hold over you. They don’t want to be with you but they don’t want you to be with anybody else either. They always linger around for weeks, months and sometimes even years. These people are not worth your time. Life’s too short to waste your precious time on complete tools of nature.

4) They’ll think they’re really clever and in control. They might appear to be clever and in control in the short term but they’ll be the ultimate losers in the long term. They’ll probably end up single for their whole life. Once you cut off their oxygen supply and stop entertaining them, they’ll soon realise that they’re not so clever after all. Karma definitely exists!


5) They’ll most likely have a track record of unsuccessful relationships. Any man or woman who has never had a successful relationship lasting longer than 6 months. This is not a good sign. The ones who have a hold over you will most likely be unable to sustain anything lasting longer than six months. This should signal alarm bells!!!!!

6) They’ll have no conscience and will show no remorse. The reason why they have no conscience or show no remorse is because they don’t actually care. Even when you’ve told them how you feel, they’ll still not be bothered. They won’t care if they’ve upset you or hurt your  feelings as they’re too selfish to think about anybody but themselves.

7) They’ll have more than one person on the go at the same time. Don’t think that you’re the only one that they are treating like this. They’ll have so many others on the go (2-5 at the same time). Just so they always have options. They’ll never put all their eggs in one basket.

Never settle for second best! Lose the losers! Live the disco dream instead!




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Jenny Conlon is a broadcast, freelance journalist, writer and fashion and entertainment critic. Her work has featured on the RTÉ. fashion and entertainments website. She has assisted production of RTÉ's Morning Ireland and The Business. Jenny produced and presented a weekly fashion and entertainment show Girls Talk Back on 103.2 Dublin City Fm and was Newsreader and Editor of the newsroom. Her work continues to feature in Irish publications such as The Irish Tatler, U magazine and The Dubliner. Jenny completed her Masters in International Journalism in 2009. She is looking forward to a jam packed 2012 where she will continue broadcasting and writing and being inspired. She will be modelling for a high street fashion shoot and plans to climb Mount Kilimanjaro.....

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