Fake eyelashes FAILER!!!!!!!

So yeah there I was the other week in the hairdressers and the girl doing my hair had the most alluring eyelashes. As I am a fake eyelash virgin, I asked her some questions like where she got them, how she positioned them so carefully and the best way to apply them. She told me she wore them most days so clearly I was hearing from a true pro! I was going out that night so I decided I’d give them a go. Off I went to Superdrug to purchase the eyelashes which she said were hanging off the end of one of the aisles. I actually bought 2 packs just in case I messed up the first. SO I bought the eyelashes and off I headed home. I was so excited to try them out that night. I spent ages doing my makeup without mascara preparing to apply the lashes. So when the moment occurred, I opened the eyelashes but couldn’t find them in the boxes pictured below. Yeah they weren’t in the boxes below mainly because I actually bought eyelash glue and ONLY eyelash glue. NOT IDEAL!!!!

Just a word of warning for anyone trying out fake eyelashes for the first time. Make sure to actually purchase the fake eyelashes before you try applying them!

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Lemons erode your teeth… not crest white strips!

So I am a total obsessive lemon person. I like to have hot water and lemon every morning but recently I noticed that my two front teeth were like eroding with grooves across the front two teeth… I did think that this was perhaps due to previously Crest Whitening strips which I would leave on overnight (even though they recommended 30 minutes) Rules were made to be broken!!… ANYWAYS I went the dentist the other week and he informed me that it wasn’t the white strips (best news I heard all last year, just bought some more strips on ebay today), it was in fact the acidic nature of the mofo lemon… I was shocked to the core, my jaw dropped and I couldn’t believe it, nor could I speak! Not really but the moral of the story is that if you’re having lemon and water, drink it through a straw!!! I did also bite into the lemon itself on occasions so I think that would have been the final straw for the two front teeth… The front teeth have all now been filled in and I now drink through straws!!

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This price you pay for lemon love!

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Thank you Millie Mackintosh – You found my wedding dress designer!!

So I’ve managed to avoid stepping inside one wedding dress shop which I am happy about as they just don’t float my boat and I dislike 99% of all the wedding dresses I’ve seen. So I follow Millie Mackintosh on Instagram and one day a few months ago, she posted a pic of one of her mates in her wedding dress on her wedding day and she tagged the designer who created the dress. The dress was the first one that I’d seen that actually resembled a dress that I had been searching for but that I couldn’t find… So stalking ensued and I followed the designer on Instagram, stalked her whole account, followed her on Twitter, went onto her website and got weak at the dresses she created… the dresses are INSANE… I still get weak looking at them… Once I see something I like (which is rare when it comes to clothes as I also hate shopping), I go with it. I knew in my gut from the moment I saw Millie’s mates wedding dress that I was onto something…

I had the first meeting with the wedding dress designer who is actually an artist, a GOD two weeks ago and I already knew I had made the right decision. I went to her new studio in East London which is a stunningly beautiful old wedding dress factory building which huge ceilings, old school walls mixed with the tranquil relaxation that you want to find when looking for a dress. I’m not going to say who the designer is as I don’t want anyone to get an idea of what it’s going to look like but if you want to know you can email me and I’ll tell you!!! So really I want to thank Millie Mackintosh because without her, I never would have found my beautiful wedding dress designer God.. I think I actually want to live in her studio, can’t wait to go back!

Thank you Millie Mackintosh for helping me find my wedding dress designer!

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I love lamp!

So when you move into somewhere new and you’ve got to kit it out, it can be quite overwhelming. Especially when you want to buy a lamp or like curtains… I want to get these like £300 retro phone lamps from like some retro shop online but I don’t think the fiancé feels much the same about the lamps… I look at these things as investment buys, I think Greg, my father antique dealer (oh and check out his website if you needs any paint stripping… not human stripping, just paint, http://paintstripping.ie/ ) instilled a haute couture sense of style in my mind from a child but I think even he’d be horrified to think I’d consider spending £300 on a retro phone lamp, not that I can even afford them anyway… So I am going to settle for a lamp for £40 from House of Fraser or like pick one up off the side of the street or from a skip somewhere, although if anyone knows where in London, I can get a retro phone lamp, please let me know! Also I did assemble 4 chairs last night after about two hours so I think I’m going places people! Kelly Hoppen better look out!

Lamp

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Life before Tinder! My 2012 top 17 dating tips updated to 2015!!

I love Tinder, I find it a lot of fun swiping left and swiping right… when I go on my friend’s Tinders’. It’s literally the craic. I’ve never signed up to Tinder but I did go on my fair share of dates pre Alexis, 18 dates in like 6 months but I did meet these people in the human flesh, like opening a bank account, joining a gym, on a night bus, on the steps around Trafalgar Square, falling out of a club on the King’s Road, in a tennis members club that I don’t know how I entered but I still find it so facinating to hear about dates from my friends. I wasn’t so sure about Tinder at the start but now I do believe like anything it’s a numbers game… You got to just go on a marathon of them and eventually you’ll have to find someone on the same page… But I do think it’s funny to look back to 2012 at my top 17 dating tips, pre Tinder!!  I think they’re still pretty apt now…

My 2012 dating tips before Tinder updated to 2015! 

1) Never arrive early EVER! – The reason being you end up standing like a complete tool at the bar by yourself downing a wine into you and are so morto because ppl are starring at you as it’s clearly obvious that you are going on a date. Your puce morto ‘let’s stare at my phone’ face gives it away. ( sure the bar man knows you as you’re in there every night.. on a date, no need to order your drink, he knows the drill) 

2) If they are not funny, don’t pretend you think they are. (no need to converse, just up and leave and walk out the door and never look back… )  

3) Set boundaries from the start. Otherwise they slack and the honeymoon period will be over before ya know it!! That’s if there is one to begin with. Going Dutch from the start is a farce and so 2010. Bring back 1920 chivalry. We have had enough feminism now. (Yes chivalry is still imperative but nothing wrong with you man handling them either if you feel the need) 

4) Eat something light before ya go. (soaks up the wine) and also stops ya eating like an animal if you go to a restaurant. (No you’ll need a wine as most people don’t resemble their photos, go to the pub and have a pre game drink) 

5) If you go to a restaurant, make sure it’s not Thai. One word CHOPSTICKS. Not good, sexy or attractive when ya can’t use them. And then ya end up eating a grain or rice for dinner and the wine takes over! (If you’re in a Thai restaurant this is a sign of a good Tinder date, normally you’re lucky to get a drink these days, ask for a fork!) 

6) If he is drinking beer, don’t keep up with the round. 4 wines = A bottle, And memory loss. (perhaps ur dignity at stages too)! Know the one that’s one too many! (If he’s buying the drinks, keep up, a rarity these days, take all you can get) 

7) Wear something black – I find black is a good colour and gives nothing away. Its mysterious, always looks good and makes ya look skinnier. Accessories are pivotal! (Yes, still applies, maybe a black pair of design tights from Primany) 

8) Use Johnson’s not tan – The whole like tan thing on a date is a bit ott for Winter time. Build it up over the week. It’s that natural ‘glow’ that we have! (I think Garnier is a better shout on this one)

9) If it’s not happening on date 1 ‘DELETE’ them. ‘DELETE’. Date 2 will just be painful. (I don’t think you can delete them? Block them on all forms of social media, turn off your location, shut it down, turn off your phone, leave the country!) 

10) Don’t come across as a stalker asking obvious questions. Like their surname, clearly so you can stalk them on FB/LinkedIn/Twitter! (You already have done this pre date, but just pretend you know nothing for the sake of conversation starters) 

11) Get a taxi to the door – Rocking up and having to change flats to heels around the corner is just not cutting it. Especially if there is a chance they could see you. (It’s now an UBER so this ain’t a problem) 

12) If they ask you to go back for tea – Just go back for tea. Maybe a biscuit too. Nothing more and nothing less! And make sure it’s Barry’s. If they don’t have a decent tea bag then cut it there and then! (Gospel & full fat milk) 

13) Have a Pipeline (of men/women) – You don’t want to put all your chickens in one basket. You need alternative entertainment. Keep them flowing! Pipelines are all the rage! (I couldn’t have said it better myself) 

14) Don’t ever have a sleep over on the first date. This is a major blunder! And if this happens. Make sure you shave your legs!!! (Don’t shave your legs cause then you’ll stay over) 

15) Flirt with your eyes – Just like Tyra banks told ya to! Smize! (Flirt like Rugby Rose in Orange is the New Black) 

16) Say something mental, something they don’t expect. Just to throw them, just when they think they have you sussed! Something like ‘omg I think I am a reincarnate of…’ (Say something like oh yeah, you know that show Narcos, well Pablo Escobar was actually like related to me as I’m from a real big Irish family) 

17) Don’t date someone who works near you. It makes your daily lunch breaks a living nightmare. (It’s only a nightmare if it’s like more than 4 people and a day does not go by without you bumping into someone, otherwise it’s kinda exciting!) 

Tinder is a numbers game, GET SWIPING!

XxJCxX

Eyebrows like Ash Wednesday

It’s safe to say that eyebrows are reaching new heights, literally. Gone is the day of a little added black pencil and now we have welcomed the Ash Wednesday eyebrow. It’s not right and it’s not ok for your eyebrows to reach the width of your thumb with the density like the ash of Ash Wednesday. I mean, I am all about a great eyebrow but when things are getting all Ash Wednesday all day everyday, then that’s a problem. People are now spending more time on their eyebrows than I’ve had hot dinners. Ash Wednesday style brows are not to be celebrated 365 days a year. Just stick to the one day a year for the sake of the public. your dignity and any future wincing when you look back at pics and see your eyebrows are the thickness of your thumb painted and lathered on with black ash Wednesday shadow… Actually I think I may have just given Mac a new name for a shadow? Mac if you’re reading this I’m copywriting Ash Wednesday shadow right here and now © .. Do not get the Ash Wednesday look!

ash

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My top 5 wedding day fears!

Is it just me or does anyone else have mild fears whether they come alive in your dreams at night or in the middle of the day? Here’s my top 5 wedding fears!

Spilling red wine or Guinness all over your white dress – I think maybe avoiding the pub before the ceremony even though I’d love to go for a pint of Guinness en route… avoiding both those drinks before 9pm would be probably the best approach!

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Needing Valium – Getting so excited you need Valium to calm you – I’ve been to a wedding recently and I couldn’t relax with nerves and excitement for the bride, I needed to calm myself with some breathing exercises as rescue remedy was just not cutting it… I may need Valium on hand!

Being attacked by Jackson. Like he gets very excited and could maul me with his tiny dirty paws and they could get stuck in my dress like a fly in a spider web. I think he may need to be locked up that morning.

Losing my voice – It happens when I scream a lot, kinda like today after the rugby match at the weekend… and whether it’s excitement or rage, this could be a potential deal breaker… Saying the vows with no voice could be an issue!

Looking like a minger – I know it’s the one day where you’re meant to look like a goddess and I know you’ll be in professional hands but imagine you detest your appearance that day haha. Avoid all mirrors if that happens…

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Where to look for bridesmaid dresses when you have 7?

So I am not sure if it’s just me who finds it difficult to know where to even begin to look for bridesmaid dresses. I think it’s hard to pick one colour or one style to suit so I am not really sure to go with it just yet… Does anyone have any advice on good places to look? I think I would like long ones but then that might not suit everyone… I think getting people to the one place to find a dress is difficult too so is the best way online? Order a few and see what works? I think once you take the word bridesmaid away from the word dress the cost also decreases… I am not necessarily on the look out for a ‘bridesmaid dress’, I just want something nice, affordable and comfortable, something that you’d be happy to wear again….

Michelle Keegan had 7 bridesmaids in Hello! mag and I know 7 is a lot but I wouldn’t have it any other way…

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Book your wedding band TEN YEARS IN ADVANCE!

Wedding band confirmed! Phew.. so anyone getting married and booking a decent wedding band, then prob just do that 10 years in advance…Or maybe twenty… Actually just do it from the day you’re born… Ok not really BUT…  Is the whole of Ireland getting married?!! I’d asked a few people for advice on wedding bands, mainly the ones who are married… Anyways, bare in mind, we’re not getting married for over a year, it was quite worrying that the top 1 or 2 bands that we wanted were actually not available… Ok tiger… I mean I think I am defo in the wrong business.. If only I could sing… now in saying that I am really happy with the choice!! ‘Hi are you available in like September 2070? No… you’re not? Ok grand thanks bye’….

Did anyone else have a mild panic when trying to find a wedding band?

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