Miscarriage in Lockdown

The reason I am writing this is because I personally could not find any real-life information on this when it happened to me.

The whole experience has been an eye opener to say the least and sooooo long and drawn out. I do not feel like there’s an awful lot of conversation on this topic out there especially in lockdown so I’ve decided to start one. I feel COVID made my experience a lot more complicated and confusing. Some information below may be a little too much for some.

Let me jump right in. At 8/9 weeks pregnant in June 2020, I felt something wasn’t quite right as I was having brown discharge and mild cramps which I didn’t have in my previous pregnancy but when you google this, it says it could well be implantation bleeding. Which in many cases, it can be. Over the course of a few days, the discharge increased, it became a stringy texture (sorry if tmi but couldn’t really find any info like this online!) so I phoned the doctor. You cannot actually see a doctor here (UK) unless you’ve booked an appointment in advance. I was advised to present myself to A&E. At that time, I felt presenting myself to A&E was a little dramatic considering what’s currently going on in the world and I didn’t want to waste anyone’s time. I also thought A&E would be really busy and scary with COVID. Turns out it was quite the opposite. I was the only one there, it was actually very calm and relaxing.  I also realised that I wasn’t wasting anyone’s time. The NHS staff that I met were Irish and lovely so made me feel a bit at home!   

I got a scan there but ended up leaving the hospital with no real solid information on whether it was going to end in miscarriage or not. Basically, none the wiser. I was told I may have my dates wrong so go home and come back in a week if nothing had happened. I was told that if it was a miscarriage it should happen itself on the toilet but apart from that, I wasn’t given so much as a leaflet. In this day and age, I must admit, I expected a little more information or empathy. You also have to go to the hospital by yourself and everyone is wearing masks so you can’t really even see who you’re talking to most of the time. It was all very clinical. That night, the miscarriage started to happen and the pain was extremely intense and the visual of what came out and what continued to come out for days on end was quite distressing. I then ended up online trying to google what to do next. I did phone my GP but they only offer phone conversations and advice as there’s not much they can do. The lack of human contact makes you feel quite isolated. You can’t even see family and friends and it’s not really a conversation you want to relay over Zoom.  

Simple things like going for a walk became an ordeal as the bleeding for me was so heavy to begin. Nowhere at this time was open as it was total lockdown so the thought of not being able to just go into a public toilet if needed was quite stressful. One day I went for a walk but just had to return home as needed to be near a toilet. That was the reality of it.  

The pain overall was intense and severe and again I had to google what to do on this one so just ended up going to Boots to get painkillers. The lack of human interaction or even a hug from family and friends is tough when going through it.  

I now know that if you’re less than 12 weeks pregnant, you can present yourself to the Early Pregnancy Unit (EPU) at any hospital at any time and they will see you that day. This is still the case in lockdown. I didn’t know you could do this beforehand as nobody told me. I had no idea and knowing that now has really put my mind at ease.

I kept getting phone calls about appointments that I’d missed had the pregnancy been successful. I tried to phone back many times to tell whoever I needed to that it’s a miscarriage but it’s quite hard to get through on the phone as they’re always busy. Normally I feel this would be an easier thing to communicate if we were able to have human interaction at the GP etc. Luckily, the phone calls have stopped recently.

I’ve had a bit of a long drawn out process with this experience as I kept getting positive pregnancy tests. I had to go back to hospital a few times for scans as this miscarriage was classed as ‘incomplete’ as not everything had come out itself. They offered me a procedure to clear everything out but on the day before I was due to have that, the heavy bleeding started again so they said I could choose to just let the rest come out itself if I preferred. I opted for that but on reflection should have just got the procedure because three months later, I am still having bleeding so I need to go back for another scan to find out what’s going on.

Before this experience, when I heard someone had a miscarriage, I thought it would happen in a few days max and that was it. I now realise that’s far from the case. It could take months for the body to return to normal.

I’ve had the best support from my husband but it was also hard for him as he was going through it too and often felt helpless to know what to say or do. 

I know people go through a hell of a lot worse than this. I understand that every experience is different too so I can only explain my own. I feel so lucky and grateful everyday to already have a beautiful healthy child. I can’t imagine if your first experience of pregnancy was a miscarriage in lockdown. I just don’t think people talk about the reality of miscarriage enough as I honestly hadn’t a clue before I experienced it myself. I’ve now come out the other side but just thought I’d share my experience for anyone going through the same because you’re not alone.